I have a friend for 18 years now who tells me, he likes and loves me very much. So, 3 months ago I wanted to go to the Chemical brothers concert and asked him will he go and does he know anyone to arrange one night accommodation. „Sure, no problem says he; „I think a bunch of friends will go so, there’s always room for one more.“ Wooo hooo.
It ended up with no phone call, no yes or no, no nothing. I was angry, disappointed and sad.
So, I was wondering myself should I continue calling him friend of mine anymore? Since, stuff like that has happened many times.
I already told him: „You say you will do something and than you don’t. And you do that so often that I can’t really rely on you. And I don’t trust you when you say you’ll do something“. He knows that, but doesn’t do anything to change that.
There are people who says that they gonna call and don’t, who says that gonna do something, and they don’t, who say they gonna help you and they don’t. And I am not talking about strangers. Not to mention what’s happening on emotional levels for both. To me, I feel like that person doesn’t really care for me. And he is filled with guilt and frustration. And even so, that’s not enough to make a change.
When you are important to another person that person will find a way to make time for you, no excuses, no lies and no broken promises. And sure, it won’t work every single time, but that would be exception not a rule. Broken promise breaks relationships and hearts.
You are all aloud to say NO. I appreciate NO far more than YES, BUT. Or even worse…YES… days pass….BUT. Or total disregard.
What’s your experience? How often do you make promises? Are they broken or not?
I asked myself that question. And I don’t have a simple answer.
I’ve broken most promises I’ve given to myself. Not so many given to others. And the ones that I don’t do are the ones that I have fear of doing. Weather those fears are rational or irrational. But they stop me from action and I struggle. I want to do something that I promised I’ll do on one side and on the other I have such big fear of doing it that I am postponing it in continuumJ. And what should I do at that point?
„Jump of the cliff“. Face the fear and do exactly what you said you would. Or say openly and honestly to that person how you feel about it and what stops you from doing what you said you’ll do. Whatever you decide to do, just be true – to yourself and others. And that’s sometimes hard but worth it. And it’s essential for good relationship.
As for me and my friend. I accept him and love him the way he is, knowing that I can’t lean on him most of the times. And I got frustrated because I couldn’t rely on myself. That’s why I needed it so badly from him and others. So thank you my dear friend, for all teachings and learnings I have with you. That I rely more on myself &and not expect from you something you can’t give.
Thanks to all of my friends who are part of my life.